From courtship to marriage, there's details in between before the "fairytale" ending. Getting to know your partner, learning each others values; religious backgrounds, family lineage, health history, life goals, & of course discussing wedding dreams & ideas. Leading to engagement has it's tough moments, with rough patches, doubt, fear, arguments, communication issues, financial woes, & everything in between that helps to write the love story being told before the eyes of your family & friends. Once that day comes, the big day, the day most women & men dream & wish for, the day you say "I do" it makes everything worth it, you see what love can do for the two of you as individuals & as a unit. However, there's steps leading to the big day, necessary steps that make room for growth, trial & error, tough decision making, transparency, & more. With our featured series, I figured what better way to start off than with the importance of seeking counsel, & there's no better way to do this other than interviewing one of the greats in the industry. Rev. Roxy, (@MarriedByRevRoxy on Instagram), is not only one of the best to ever do it within the industry, but she's the key to making your big day memorable, special, & she's a staple in the moment that matters most & lasts forever.
Get to know more about Rev. Roxy, her brand, & appearances on hit television shows such as, Love & Hip Hop, & Married at First Sight, along with our marrying a few of our favorite celebs!
TEP: Who's Rev. Roxy?
Rev. Roxy: "I am a wedding officiant & premarital counselor to the wedding industry. In addition to that, I am a Chaplain in the U.S. Army Reserves & Adjunct professor to many nursing students across the country studying Ethical & Spiritual Decision Making in Healthcare."
TEP: What are three FUN adjectives you'd use to describe yourself? Rev. Roxy: "Charismatic, pioneering & creative."
TEP: What do you look for in a couple?
Rev. Roxy: "Ones who see the value in commitment to a life long marriage, the wedding ceremony (making it custom) & those who value investing into their relationship."
TEP: What should a couple consider when in search of an officiant?
Rev. Roxy: "Their educational & professional experience as it pertains to serving people."
TEP: What's the most exciting part of your job?
Rev. Roxy: "I enjoy seeing people grow from dating/courtship to a mature kind of love that treats each other well (to their best ability) in the process and is willing to work towards going the distance & not simply taking the easy route of giving up. The grass is always greener on the other side because people are watering it on the other side."
TEP: What's the protocol for a couple with different religious backgrounds?
Rev. Roxy: "Well my recommendation for all couples with the same or different faith(s) is premarital counseling. You have to understand the "why" behind your actions. It's not enough to say "we are ok with it" & move on. There is much to consider in interfaith, just like there is much to consider for mixed culture & race. Every combination of coupling is complex. Humans are complex. This is why premarital counseling is for all not just some. An example of consideration, what are the important components for the legacy you want to create (i.e. children)? If you can't answer questions similar to that, then you aren't ready to simply move on from the dialogue. Love conquers all, with wisdom. Ultimately, this is America & people can do anything they want pertaining to love.The real filter is whether it's a profitable or wise action, & only individuals can make that determination for themselves. It's the right of the people. No one is responsible or able to make that decision for someone else."
TEP: What's most challenging about being an officiant?
Rev. Roxy: "The one thing I tell any officiant I mentor is they aren't merely dealing with two people getting married, they are dealing with two peoples getting married. Meaning these people didn't drop out the sky as adults like the biblical understanding of Adam & Eve. They were reared by a people, a tribe, a family system of some kind & it's imperative that an officiant takes a special interest in the families they come from not just the couple. Being able to consistently meet different families all the time & merge into their family even for one day, (wedding day), is just as important to the service you give as an officiant in being able to craft a good ceremony or speak well."
TEP: What's it like seeing yourself on television & in magazines?
Rev. Roxy: "Before going to seminary at the graduate level, I accomplished a Bachelors of Art degree in theater performance from Penn State University. I went to the New York High school of performing arts as a drama major & one year of operatic voice... I took my first improvisation class when I was 11 years old... Performance & judging myself with a fine tooth comb has been my life. I am grateful people don't see what I see because I am quite harsh on myself, which keeps me always learning."
TEP: Do you feel that those who work in the wedding industry, should concern themselves with their "divorce rate"? Why or why not?
Rev. Roxy: "I think those who serve the couple in the capacity of wedding them together should concern themselves with the divorce rate. A florist or a planner doesn't have any vested interest in the divorce rate & it doesn't correlate with their business mission. Many industry professionals aren't married themselves. Everyone has a lane & it's so important to truly become an expert at what you were created to do. One thing all wedding professionals can do regardless of position or job title, is REFER couples to premarital counseling. They can easily shift the responsibility from themselves to the professionals. Here's my website information for premarital & marital counseling is this: https://www.marriedbyrevroxy.com/counseling"
TEP: How do you balance all you do; traveling for work, being a wife & mother?
Rev. Roxy: "Prayer & the practice of staying present."
BONUS: TEP: How did you feel about the end result of Married at First Sight?
Rev. Roxy: "I was disappointed that Jasmine & Will did not stay together but on the flip side, I am still in their lives & will be here as they grow from the experience. I wasn't one of the experts or someone who got to work with the couple once I married them, because of the structure of the experiment, so I take no credit or responsibility but I am grateful for the connection that we now have. I love & support them regardless."
This is just the beginning of our featured series, & I personally feel we started off right! Be sure to subscribe to our website, YouTube, & follow us on Instagram, to stay up to date on new posts, up coming merch, public events, & more.
You can learn more about Rev. Roxy, her services, & more via her website MarriedByRevRoxy.com
Rev. Roxy's Photos:
Photographer: Chip Dizard of Chip Dizard Weddings (Instagram @chipdizard)
MUA: Gia D’Esposito (Instagram @@giadespo)
Religious Garment: by Jespére (Instagram @_jespere)
Muna Love Affair Miami by Munaluchi Bride